“My ‘Career As A Southpaw’ Is Over, But Life Doesn’t End There”: the military experience of a historian with the army call-sign “Candidate”

“…as a historian, I turned out to be unprofessional, because I did not anticipate the events that became a reality on the 24th of February 2022”

– Volodymyr, has your perception of the war changed since the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine?

Ukrainian society, as we know, has been in a zone of turbulence since the end of November 2013, but I did not expect and could not predict the events in Crimea and Eastern Ukraine. I admit that, as a historian, I was unprofessional in failing to respond properly to the signals that preceded these events. Despite the customs and trade “wars” of 2013 [where Ukraine favored trade with Russia over trade with EU – J.B.], I could not even imagine that Russia would try to satisfy its geopolitical ambitions by force. It seemed absurd in both 2014 and 2022. At the end of 2021, I felt some tension; I realised that Russian military forces were accumulating near the Ukrainian borders, and Western countries were already beginning to supply weapons to our country. However, even then a full-scale invasion seemed completely absurd. Again, as a historian, I turned out to be unprofessional, because I did not anticipate the events that became a reality on the 24th of February 2022.

On the eve of the full-scale invasion, I was talking to a friend of mine who assured me that the war would start tomorrow. I did not believe it until the last minute. Knowing the history of the First and Second World Wars, I could not even imagine that something like this could happen in the twenty-first century. Unfortunately, I was wrong. It turned out that our geographical neighbour was openly encroaching on Ukrainian territories, independence, freedom, and on the values that Ukraine has been following since 1991 and [expressed in] the revolutions of 2004 [the Orange Revolution] and 2014 [the Maidan Protests]. We continue to defend these values now, with weapons in our hands.

– Did your opinion regarding the possibility of a full-scale Russian invasion of Ukraine coincide with others’ opinions in your professional environment?

Any society or professional community is heterogeneous, therefore it is natural that its representatives do not necessarily have the same views on the same events. I can only speak for myself here. In our institute, we have published individual publications related to the ongoing Russian-Ukrainian war, and we have been preparing additional volumes of the Encyclopaedia of the History of Ukraine. So, as a professional historian, I faced the need to analyse many contemporary events from a professional point of view. I was preparing several important articles on, among other things, the volunteer movement of 2014 – 2020; Ukrainian prisoners of war; internally displaced persons; the volunteer movement; and volunteer army units. However, even working on these topics did not help me predict the events of 2022. And I assume that such a forecast by one historian or even the research community would not have had a significant impact on anything anyway.

“Many people perceived the events in Donbas as something distant and, I’m not afraid to say it, alien”

– Did you prepare an emergency suitcase?

I didn’t prepare one. I didn’t have an emergency suitcase. I remembered the fuss about buying food at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. Even then, I tried not to play along with this anxiety, or with the public’s reactions to currency fluctuations. The same behavioural model worked for me at the end of February 2022. I may have realised that in the case of a full-scale war, I would not stand aside, but it was more about my psychological readiness to take up arms and defend my homeland, my family, and my friends. This readiness did not come to me immediately though. Many people perceived the events in Donbas as something distant and, I’m not afraid to say it, alien. But in 2022, the proximity of the frontline and its scale were completely different. As we now know, both Kyiv and my native Chernihiv region were in the zone of possible occupation, so the level of preparedness changed rapidly.

– How did you find out about Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine?

You won’t believe it, but the same friend I mentioned above had called me early in the morning, saying: “It has started! The war has begun!” I remember being quite outraged at that time because I continued to perceive his words as some kind of nonsense. But I started monitoring the Internet, where I immediately saw the infamous address by dictator Putin. It was only then that I realised the true scale of the tragedy, clearly understanding my next steps.

– What were your next steps?

On the first day, I was dealing with issues related to the evacuation of my relatives. At the same time, I decided that I would donate blood on the 25th of February, as I had extensive pre-war experience of donating blood. At the blood donation point, I saw a huge queue, in which I had to spend the whole day. So, it was only on the 26th of February, the third day of the war, that I got to the military registration and enlistment office. However, I had decided to join the army on the first day of the full-scale invasion.

– Where was your family during the outbreak of a full-scale invasion?

My mother was in the Chernihiv region, and my brother and sister were in Kyiv. My sister decided to go to our mother’s place in the Chernihiv region, but, having arrived home, she found herself cut off from Kyiv. At that time, bridges were mined so that the enemy could not get to the capital. My small homeland is located at some distance from the Moscow highway, which saved it from the Russian occupation.

“Do we have a history?”

I live in the Holosiivo district of Kyiv, therefore on the 26th of February, I decided to go to the local military enlistment office there. We didn’t hear many explosions there. This was unlike the Left bank of Kyiv, [which was] more in the Brovary direction [farther north – J.B.]. But there was some echo. Our institute suspended its activities, and its employees were allowed to work remotely. Some of my colleagues went abroad to continue their research, while others stayed in Ukraine. Two more of my colleagues joined the Ukrainian Armed Forces.

– Please, share your story of becoming a part of the Ukrainian Armed Forces

On the third day of the invasion, information was spreading through the huge queues at the military enlistment offices, where it was impossible to get in without military experience. I had not served in the army, I was not even a reserve officer, but I went anyway. I had received my military ID when I was twenty-five, in the autumn of 2013. Frankly speaking, some men were avoiding this card, which was especially noticeable with the start of the ATO in the Donbas, when the likelihood of receiving a call-up to the army increased. I remember well how I went to my home military enlistment office in the Koropskyi district of the Chernihiv region. At that time, I was already working in Kyiv, but I was registered in the Chernihiv region. The military enlistment office did not have any forms; it was a very common story back then. But I was sent to the military commissar, who told me to come back another day. I replied that I lived in Kyiv, so I wouldn’t be able to come back so soon. The military commissar asked me where I worked, and when he heard that I was an employee of the Institute of History and had a Ph.D., he ironically asked: “Do we have a history?” Today I realise that it would have been appropriate to ask a counter question: “Do we have the Armed Forces?” With the beginning of the Russian military aggression in 2014, it was with the military personnel and training of the Armed Forces that we had the most serious problems. But I did get my military ID card back then.

“After a long anxious pause, I was finally added into the system, and that’s how I ended up in the Ukrainian Armed Forces”

On the way to the Holosiivskyi military enlistment office, I felt confident that everything would be fine. I took a backpack, some food, put on warm boots, thermal underwear, ski clothes and warm socks. I was most worried that I would be sent home, that I would be rejected. I was only allowed to enter the military enlistment office with confirmed passes. I showed my military ID card and answered the question “Do you have a call-up?” with a “Yes!”, although, of course, I had no call-up to the army. I was afraid that I would not even be allowed to enter the territory, so I had to cheat a little. The deputy military commissariat asked me where I had served, and I replied that I had no service experience, but I was highly motivated, physically fit, and had experience in parachuting. I don’t know how important it was for the Armed Forces at the time that I had a Ph.D. in history [laughs], but I mentioned this too. After a long, anxious pause, I was finally added to the system, and that’s how I ended up in the Ukrainian Armed Forces.

– How did you feel about your new status?

My zodiac sign is Gemini, so I often have conflicting feelings. On the one hand, I did not doubt that I could cope even without military experience, but on the other hand, of course, I was worried about whether I would be able to get the right training. In my battalion, there were many people with military experience, so I had some concerns about possible misunderstandings between those who had not served in the army and those who had already undergone combat training. But my fears turned out to be unfounded. One of my closest friends and most loyal comrades-in-arms has become an ATO veteran. I know firsthand the stories of conscript service and, of course, I heard about the facts of hazing in the army before 2014, mostly related to the “Desna” training centre [1]. But I have never experienced this personally. In my environment, people were regarded only by their abilities, qualifications, motivation, and professionalism.

“We were defending a certain territory on the outskirts of the city, towards Irpin, standing at checkpoints, patrolling the streets and military enlistment offices”

– What military unit were you assigned to?

It happened that the volunteers who came to various military registration and enlistment offices in Kyiv on the 26th of February formed the 23rd Separate Rifle Battalion, with which I spent the first months of my service. During the day, we were given military clothing, and in the evening we received weapons, mostly small guns, and ammunition. Our task was to defend Kyiv and protect a certain direction in case of an enemy breakthrough. At the same time, experienced fighters were conducting basic training for newcomers. But you understand that while the enemy was near Kyiv, it was, of course, not possible to conduct full-scale training. We were defending a certain area on the outskirts of the city, towards Irpin (eastern Kyiv), standing at checkpoints and patrolling the streets and military enlistment offices.

– What, in your opinion, prevented the enemy from capturing Kyiv?

I assume the reason lies in a combination of factors. Firstly, it was the motivation and professionalism of the people who defended the city, in particular the 72nd Mechanised Brigade and other related units. Equally important was the natural factor [marshes, bogs, forests, lakes surrounding Kyiv – J.B.] and the [Ukrainian military – J.B.] decision to blow up the dams. We may also mention a certain naivety from the enemy, who moved in columns along the Brovary road, thus creating favourable conditions for their own destruction. As you know, our valiant soldiers, sacrificing their health and even lives, managed to stop this column. The enemy’s intention of capturing Kyiv in three days and their hopes for the support of the local population also failed. But there must have been other factors we are not aware of yet.

“Don’t look for the war; it will find you anyway”

– How did your military path progress?

After the enemy withdrew its troops from Kyiv, we were moved to an area near Bucha. We were concentrated there until it was finally clear that the enemy had withdrawn. Later, our battalion was transferred to the south of Kyivoblast’, meaning it was not involved in combat operations, and it was very stressful for me and several of my comrades. We did not understand why the battalion was digging in, in relatively safe areas, while fierce fighting was taking place in Kharkiv, Donetsk, Kherson, Mykolaiv, and Zaporizhzhia regions. Our commander at the time, Lieutenant Colonel Demchuk, said: “Don’t look for war; it will find you anyway.”

But my comrades and I did not listen to what we later realised was very good advice. When we saw an announcement about recruitment to the 47th Battalion, we decided to go for an interview at the end of May, and a month later we received an order to transfer to this battalion. However, due to the expansion of the unit – first to an assault regiment, then to a mechanised brigade – our participation in active combat operations was also postponed for some time. But the biggest paradox is that the 23rd Separate Rifle Battalion, from which we were hastily transferred, was sent to the front a few days after we left [laughs]. What an irony of fate! But the war eventually found us in the 47th Brigade.

In the new unit, we went through a long period of training and exercises at various Ukrainian training grounds, as well as at a military base in Germany. Our unit was armed to NATO standards. We had Bradley infantry fighting vehicles, Leopard tanks, etc. Eventually, our brigade was involved in a counter-offensive in the Zaporizhzhia direction near Robotyno [2], near Orikhiv [3]. It was there in June 2023 that I received my first serious injury during a close contact firefight. Unfortunately, it is difficult to prepare for close combat, and the risk of being wounded or killed is very high. And these are the things that are not shown in the news.

“Now no NATO or other country in the world has the experience that Ukrainians have”

– What was the reaction of foreign militaries to Ukrainian soldiers?

We were trained by professionals who have great respect for the Ukrainian military. This is evidenced, in particular, by the exchange of chevrons that took place between us. This ritual means that a serviceman who offers to exchange chevrons with you expresses great respect for you personally, your unit, and the Armed Forces of Ukraine in general.

– How do you assess the readiness of the Ukrainian army to learn?

Our military men learn very quickly. In general, the Ukrainian Armed Forces have taken a very big step towards meeting NATO standards. Of course, there are problems with weapons, as everyone knows. But the experience of the Ukrainian Defence Forces today is [that they are] now fully capable of training NATO troops. I have heard them say “We not only teach, but we learn from you.” No other NATO country or other country in the world has the experience that Ukrainians have. There hasn’t been a war of this scale since the Second World War, but this experience was gained, unfortunately, with the lives of our heroes.

Everyone understands that Ukraine has now reached a certain bifurcation point. We are standing on the edge of the abyss between life and death for our country, though not only for our own country. For the sake of our families’ lives, we are ready to learn, gain knowledge, and constantly improve ourselves. This age-old struggle for our independence and freedom has gained new momentum today.

“A comrade-in-arms is a man with whom you go into battle, over whose head you can shoot, and he can be sure that you will not shoot him”

– How can you explain the phenomenon of comrades-in-arms?

This phenomenon is difficult to explain. A comrade-in-arms is a person with whom you go into battle, over whose head you can shoot, and he can be sure that you will not shoot him. At the same time, you also trust your comrade-in-arms with your back and head. This is the person who will provide you with first aid. I know this for sure from my own experience. You have an interdependence with your comrade-in-arms because his life at the front depends on your actions, and yours on his. In battle, you are one, you have to work as a single organism. This phenomenon is tested in combat, but you can become close to this person even before combat.

– Can we say that comrades-in-arms are all those who are, for example, in a battalion or a separate military unit? Or are they those with whom you are constantly side-by-side?

Of course, first and foremost, comrades-in-arms are those who serve with you in your unit. You may be in combat not only with these people but also with men or women from another battalion. And they are also your brothers. You will work as a unit, and one of them will help you, or you will help someone else. So, this concept, relatively speaking, has both broader and narrower explanations.

– Is there something similar to comrades-in-arms among foreign military?

I don’t know for sure, because during our training in Germany, we were mostly in contact with instructors, so we didn’t have the opportunity to immerse ourselves in military culture, and even less time for informal communication. Of course, we did not see them in combat either. But I suspect that something similar exists in their armed forces. I think they are driven by similar factors: interdependence, the need to assist, cover in combat, and perform coordinated tasks. The phenomenon of brotherhood and fellowship is based on these imperatives. Besides, when you go into battle, you don’t know what awaits you. Perhaps, God forbid, death. The complete uncertainty of the future also unites people. This uncertainty is very uniting.

– Did you pay proper attention to first aid during your training?

Yes, first aid was given a lot of attention during our training in Germany.

– What is the level of provision of our troops with the necessary medical supplies?

Here I can only speak about my unit. It is perfectly supplied. Tourniquets, occlusive stickers, nasopharyngeal tubes, hemostatic bandages – we were provided with all of this, including the knowledge of how to use it. But we really had enough time to prepare. Perhaps the situation in other brigades was different, as you can often hear in the media.

– What is the age and social composition of your battalion?

We have a fairly young unit, consisting mainly of middle-class people with higher education. They are mostly under forty years old and have a rather high level of physical fitness.

– Have you experienced any misunderstandings among your colleagues because of language or discrimination?

We have not had a single case of discrimination. As for the language issue, of course, I have comrades-in-arms who speak Russian. But this fact does not cause any prejudices. How can there be a prejudiced attitude, for example, towards a person who has served in the ATO, who voluntarily came to the military enlistment office on the 26th of February 2022, who has a tattoo with a [Ukrainian] trident, and who is loyally defending his country!? Of course not.

There is lots of black humour in the army [laughing]. Jokes on the frontline are very helpful, even though they may seem wild to civilians.

– How do the Ukrainian military see the enemy today?

On the one hand, they hardly ever speak disparagingly of Russians, and on the other hand, there is no underestimation of the enemy now, as the enemy is adapting and, in some respects, still outperforms us. Therefore, the attitude to tactics or behaviour in battle is absolutely serious.

My call sign is “Candidate”

– How do military call signs usually come about?

The emergence of call signs can be different. Some people choose their call signs based on their profession or qualifications, based on external features or behavioural patterns. There are examples of call signs that were formed from surnames or parts of them. My call sign is “Candidate” (Ph.D.) and it is related to my professional qualifications. By the way, I’ve seen call signs that were created by analogy with the names of ancient gods or superheroes, such as Thanos, Terminator, Ragnar, Metal [laughs], etc. Often the call sign suits the person, but there are cases when it does not. From a practical point of view, it should be a short word that can be used in radio transmissions.

– In your opinion, what is the purpose of creating call signs?

I think their mission is connected with the need to mask yourself in the information space when there is a need to convey specific information to a specific person via radio transmission. There are a lot of identical names, so you need to identify yourself in this stream.

– Do soldiers have any amulets?

Of course, most of them have their own talismans, amulets “for good luck”. I think everyone has their own, but they usually keep it a secret. Most often, these are things given by loved ones, because they have the greatest protective power.

– What is the most difficult thing at the frontline?

There are situations when you stay in constant tension for several days waiting for the task to be completed. From a psychological point of view, it is very difficult. For example, as our brigade has been involved in active combat operations and assault operations since June, it is certainly very difficult for mental health. But the hardest thing is to see your comrades being killed or wounded. It is very difficult to live twenty-four hours a day with people, to consider them your closest friends, and then to lose them in battle. If you see your comrade’s death with your own eyes, it can become a problem for the rest of your life, because the memories of it will haunt you every time.

“The more resilient can withstand, the less resilient can break”

– How often do military men lose their [psychological] balance?

I think it depends on a person’s previous, pre-war background. The war reveals the true psychological essence of a person. Those who are more resilient can withstand it, and those who are less resilient can break down. But one way or another, the war affects everyone.

– How is everyday life organised at the front?

I can only talk about the everyday frontline life of my battalion, which is mainly related to counterattacks and assaults, and is virtually devoid of [civilian] everyday life. Our main task is to complete the mission and survive. The units are often very dispersed due to security issues. When it becomes possible to move away from the frontline and rest for a few days or return to the base, some kind of domestic everyday life does appear. But even then, there is no detachment from life on the frontline. We understand that there are needs that need to be met, and everyone tries to contribute to this process to the best of their ability.

“The most appropriate thing, in my opinion, is to simply say: ‘Thank you for your service’!”

– What kind of advice do you have for civilians who often don’t know how to thank a military man?

It seems to me that each military man should be treated individually. Perhaps someone has returned with certain psychological problems and simply does not want to contact anyone. The most appropriate thing, in my opinion, is to simply say: “Thank you for your service!”. You should not ask unnecessary questions, especially to the wounded man. Children may not understand all the nuances, but gratitude from them is the most valuable. We are fighting, first and foremost, for the sake of our children, all Ukrainian children, who, unfortunately, are forced to live in very difficult realities and suffer because of Russian aggression. When you hear “Thank you!” from a child, you realise that you are doing this hard work for something valuable, sacrificing your health and life.

“It’s a shame that my ‘career as a southpaw’ ended because of the amputation”

– As far as I know, you had two injuries. Could you tell us under what conditions this had happened?

I am ready to talk about everything, except for the bloody details. Within two and a half months, I received two serious injuries. The first was a bullet wound to the head. My helmet saved me. It absorbed most of the kinetic energy of the bullet, which then ricocheted off my skull, leaving fragments but not hitting my brain. So my cognitive functions were not affected. After I received first aid, we continued to fight for six hours. There was no way to evacuate, as the situation at the front was very difficult. We were surrounded, so we just had to fight our way back to our own lines. My second injury was a bullet wound to the elbow of my left arm, which eventually led to its amputation. Unfortunately, I became a victim of the so-called “post-tourniquet syndrome”; as a result of keeping the tourniquet on my arm for a long time, my arm had to be amputated. Now I am undergoing treatment, and to be honest, I am a little bit sorry that I did so little for my country, that I left the ranks of my comrades too early. I would like to be with them and continue to do my service.

After the first injury, I was fitted with two bandages, which helped to stop the bleeding. With the second injury, I was fitted with a tourniquet, but unfortunately, I had to lose my arm. It’s a shame that, due to the amputation, my “career as a left-handed man” came to an end. Now it’s very difficult to do everything in everyday life with my right hand, even eat, not to mention signing any document [smiles]. Every time I sign a document, I get different signatures that look like incomprehensible icons. The situation is not easy, but thank God I am alive. My “career as a southpaw” is over, but life goes on.

There are a lot of men with amputations of varying complexity next to me. But all of them are very courageous. I’ll tell you more, we once had a discussion with a fellow soldier who has a high amputation of his leg (I have a high amputation of my arm): what is better – to lose a leg or to lose an arm [smiles]. A bit of black humour. He insisted that it was better to be without an arm because you could walk and do something. I thought this thesis was rather dubious – there are more opportunities with two hands.

I am convinced that everything that happened just had to happen. Things happen in combat that are very difficult to explain. Sometimes it seems that you should have been the one to die, but you survived, and your comrade in arms, unfortunately, did not. This gives you the feeling that there are things we cannot influence. But despite this, you have to work hard and fulfil your duty.

“Physically, the most difficult thing for me now is my phantom pain”

– What is the biggest challenge for you today? What is your request to the outside world on behalf of amputees?

At this stage, I am undergoing treatment. I have already had eight surgeries and there will be more to come. It is clear that I see various shortcomings, but this is because the medical system was not ready for trials of this magnitude. As for the future, I already understand that my situation is very difficult due to the lack of prostheses designed for high amputation. This is the biggest challenge for me. There is still time to search for them while I am undergoing treatment. I don’t know what will happen next. Physically, phantom pains are the most difficult for me now. Before, I had only heard about them in movies. This pain can be somewhat controlled by pills, but I think it is impossible to fully control it, as it is exclusively the responsibility of the nervous system. It sends a signal to the arm, which is not there. My arm is missing, but I can feel it down to every finger. But I do not lose hope. Perhaps medicine will cope with this someday.

You know, I wrote on my Facebook page that life goes on. I am convinced that I have to fight and that this is the next challenge that I need to learn to live with. I don’t have any specifics about my future yet. However, I still have my position at the Institute of History of Ukraine of the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine, although my career as a historian is on hold for now. But this is really a temporary pause, it’s just an interlude. Ahead of me is the military medical commission, which has to determine whether I am partially fit or unfit for service. Under certain circumstances, I am ready to stay in the unit to do work not related to combat operations. As a scholar, I have certain analytical skills and document management abilities. Perhaps I can be useful in this area. But my future is only at a point where I can think [but I can’t plan].

– Do you keep in touch with your comrades in arms now?

Yes, of course, I am in touch with my unit, and with my comrades. I know what is happening to them, and they are constantly interested in my health. For now, I remain part of the unit.

– How did your family react to your injury? Are they as optimistic as you?

It is rather that I am the one who is optimistic about them. My mother took everything very painfully, as well as the fact of my service in general. But I try to pass on my optimism to my family. I still survived; it could have been different.

– And what was the fate of your comrades with whom you were transferred to the 47th Battalion?

One of them was transferred to another unit. Another one, unfortunately, is referred to as “missing”. It is very difficult to live with the thought that a person very close to you, your comrade-in-arms, is killed, is missing, or is seriously injured.

“We have no choice but to win”

– How do you see the end of this war?

We have no choice but to win. We have suffered so many losses that it is unlikely that our military will allow any other outcome, even if there is a political decision to do so. It is difficult to talk about the prospects now, but it seems that there are still many challenges ahead. To speed things up, we need more help from our Western partners, but at the international level, it’s not that simple, because each country has its own priorities.

– What is the mission of Ukrainian historians today?

I think that historians, at the very least, should record contemporary events, using, in particular, the method of oral history. Eyewitness testimonies are very important for creating a future archive of the Russian-Ukrainian war and the source base of Ukraine’s modern history. But our primary task is to win on the battlefield.

– How do you feel about talks about a possible conflict between civilians and the military after soldiers return from the front?

I do not think that society should perceive and discuss this as a potential threat. Obviously, we need to set up a system of social and psychological rehabilitation, but imposing the idea of danger from the military today can turn into playing along with the enemy. We shouldn’t forget that we also experience an ongoing information war. Now we need to create conditions for amputees to acquire new professions or ways to return to their previous jobs. I am convinced that first of all, the state should think about this.

– Thank you very much for this interview! Thank you for your trust! Thank you for every day at the front and your irresistible optimism, which is very inspiring!

The interview was conducted by Svitlana Makhovska.

All the photos used in this publication are from Volodymyr Mylko’s archive.

This publication is also available in Ukrainian.